Social Skills of Preschool Children
The term social competence includes skills and abilities that allow the child to engage in the mutual and enriching creation of interpersonal relationships and engagement with society. Pre-school education provides the child with the first important stimulation necessary for the development of this competence in a broader social environment including their peers, as well as adults who are not family members. Pro-social behavior can thus develop well only in interaction with neutral and unfamiliar children, and adults. It is therefore at a pre-school age when the foundations are laid for the incorporation of the child into society and the formation of functional interpersonal relationships. Providing support is one of the key tasks of educational work at this age.
• The ability to express one’s needs, intentions and opinions.
• An age-appropriate exercise of sensitivity and thoughtfulness in relation to others, willingness to help and emotionally support others.
• Recognition of appropriate and inappropriate behavior in ordinary situations.
• Ability to cooperate and participate in activities and decisions, the ability to agree, or negotiate with others, make and accept compromises acceptable for everybody involved.
• Ability to assert oneself, as well as to conform in group activities.
• Recognition of responsibility for one’s behavior and actions, and their consequences.
• Adaptation to ordinary changes in social environment.
• Rejection of socially unacceptable behavior, including the age-appropriate ability to defend oneself against its consequences.
• Acceptance of social values and rules associated with interpersonal relationships based on dignity.
• Exercise of social and other agreed-on rules in everyday contact with children and adults.
• Acceptance of the fact that everybody is different and unique.
• Caution in dealing with unfamiliar persons, or in social situations as yet unknown to the child.
• Acceptance of clarified and justified obligations, perseverance in fulfilling them.
This competence is closely related to communication, in particular to the ability to constructively communicate in various environments and social situations. For a successful involvement in society, the child also needs to understand the rules and customs respected in society, to express and also to accept various standpoints, and to show tolerance and empathy. The child becomes gradually included in society through imitating the behavior of people surrounding the child, and gradually identifying with various models of human behavior. This process is usually described as the socialization of the child.
In order to successfully master this process, it is vital that a child feels positive acceptance and expectations with regards to their future, in their environment. At a pre-school age, children also learn specific expected types of behavior and self-regulation, which are generally termed social roles. These roles may be accepted, modified, adapted or rejected by the individual in the course of their life. Individual models of behavior may intertwine and influence each other. Social roles may be classified using various criteria.
In terms of duration, we differentiate between the following types of social roles:
- Long-term (daughter/son, sister/brother)
- Short-term (actor in a school play, participant of an outing)
- General (girl/boy)
Once the child starts attending kindergarten, the repertoire of their social roles is expanded to include the role of a kindergarten pupil and friend. The child learns to communicate and form relationships with peers, and at the same time they learn everyday interactions with adults who are not members of their family. The kindergarten is an environment through which the child enters society as an independent individual. It is here that the child learns about partnership, and begins to see themselves as part of a larger social unit in which certain rules apply and must be followed.
Achievement of a good position within the group, and being liked by their peers is very important for laying the foundations for a child’s positive self-image.
If the behavior of the child associated with their role as a friend does not meet the expectations of other children, the child may become the subject of criticism and repudiation. This can lead to dislike or even rejection of the child, which in turn has a negative effect on the child’s self-perception. Negative self-perception often leads to the fixation or escalation of undesirable behavior in the child in relation to other children. This can lead to somewhat of a vicious circle that must be broken up as soon as possible. Pedagogical interventions must, from the start of the manifestations of undesirable behavior, target supporting behavior patterns and manifestations which are accepted by other children. Rather than punish undesirable behavior, we should prefer strengthening desirable behavior through positive motivation (praise, or reward in the form for instance of some extra benefit that is attractive to the child – helping the teacher demonstrate a task using interesting tools and aids, the seat next to the teacher when she reads the children a fairy-tale etc.) In the event of physical aggression, it is necessary to use punishment, which, however, should not be traumatizing for the child (e.g. temporary revocation of a benefit conferred on the child earlier).In communication with the child, we must never reject the child as a person, but rather the unacceptable behavior.
To guide children towards recognizing which behavior is acceptable in specific situations, and which behavior is unacceptable, it is useful to define and then, using a suitable – preferably experience-based – form, regularly refresh common rules for behavior in cooperation with all the children.
Certain conditions need to be created for the successful development of social skills.
These conditions include:
• Satisfaction of the emotional needs of the child, establishing a feeling of security and safety,
• Belief of the child that the world is a safe place, and that the child can influence what is going on around them through their behavior,
• Sufficient confidence in the ability to influence the things going on around them.
On the part of the child, the fundamental condition is reaching a certain level of emotional maturity, which allows for empathy and self-control (the ability to suppress or postpone the gratification of one’s needs, control one’s aggression etc.). It is also necessary for the child to attain a level of cognitive maturity which allows them to see a specific situation from the perspective of another person. This ability is usually achieved (to a limited extent) towards the end of pre-school age. Despite that, pre-school children can empathize with the feelings of others they have experienced themselves (joy, pain, fear), and can predict what others are feeling in familiar situations (if I hit you, you will feel pain). They can usually recognize familiar emotions from facial expressions (anger, sadness, joy, etc.).